A Letter to Whom It May Concern

Tuesday,

14th of February 2023

Dear my (unfound) love in the hereafter, 

How is your life doing without me?

and

Where are you?

I've been waiting for you for so long. I've passed my ups and downs with no one wiping my tears, holding my hand, petting my head, hugging me tightly, or even calming me down (actually I still have my beloved family but we've been separated by distance). Actually, it sucks enough but I should force myself to get used to it. It was a little bit hard at first, but unconsciously I think it made me more mature and this maturity will have a good effect on our marriage life in the future I guess. Fufufufu.

I'm still preparing the best version of myself, and I do believe you do.

Do you know that I learned how to cook (tho I hate to go shopping the raw ingredients in the market, but I'll try my best for you. Probably, we can go together so that your left hand can help me to bring the shopping bags, and your right hand can hold my left hand to make me keep walking next to you, and last, my right hand will hold your wallet that has money in it hehe, just kidding.) so that you will not be in hunger, how to be the best wife for you so that we can go to umrah together with our cutest children, and also how to decorate houses so that we have our own most comfortable place to live on earth. One more thing, I have listed what things we should do after getting married. I have a bunch of activities that I want to try with you! I promise you will like it, with no regret. I'll tell you one then. Actually, I have ever watched a video on TikTok, there was an introverted girl who decided to go outside on a rainy day. She didn't like the crowd but she really wanted to go outside. Then, she finally went to McD drive-thru and ordered some food, and she ate all of them in the parking area while it was raining so hard outside her car. The vibe was really calming, eating her food inside the car while it was hard-raining. I was inspired for doing this with you. Funny, isn't it? But I hope someday this stupid dream will come true. We have to!

I created some vlogs that you can watch in the future. I will show how my life was going before I met you. You will also see how cute I was years before (Now is getting cuter).

Let us start each and every morning with a positive vibe. Let's pray tahajjud together and recite at least a page of the Holy Qur’an every day as a habit. If you are getting late for the office, I’ll feed your breakfast and kiss your forehead, give my prayers to you, and kiss your hand to signify my respect for you as my beloved husband before you leave. Maybe sometimes if I had time, I'll drop you cute love messages with some beautiful pictures of me to remind you for having lunch or praying zuhr and ashr. 

Last but not least, I love cats so much! Calm down! My first love is for you, then the second one is for the cute cats. Hehe. I'll be begging you for approving me to have a couple of cute cats in our house! The female one must be white, and I prefer the male in grey. When you were out of my touch and I feel quite lonely, I guess these two cute cats will become my friend. They substitute you whenever you are away. I wish, one day, when we have a cute baby, these furry things will help us to take care of our child. Watching our baby 24 hours per day, accompanying our baby every time, and even sleeping next to our baby when they felt tired. I wish!

Even though I don't know exactly who you'll be yet, I think of you often. 

I'm still wondering what are you doing right now, how is your work and what is your newest hobby. I'm wishing that you and your family are healthy and have enough rezeki ya. Am I a good girl, aren't I? Hehe. I even don't know who are you, what is your name, and where are you but I give my best prayer for you. And soon, Allah will encounter us when we are ready and when we have become the best version of ourselves. Aamiin Ya Rabbal Aa'lamiin. 

Throughout the years I prayed, asking Allah to send me someone who can guide me more closer to Jannah. It's so crazy to think there was someone who was created and born for us, just walking around on this earth somewhere. I pray that you, my future husband find the same peace, comfort, love, and solace in me that the Prophet Muhammad SAW found in Khadijah r.a. 

"Good women are for good men and good men are for good women."

[Qur'an - 24:26]

I will never expect you to be perfect because Allah does know I'm not. You will make mistakes, and so will I. I know that we will learn from past mistakes, which will make us stronger over the years. I vow to love you for your every flaw and weakness. One thing we should remember is, we marry to perfect our religion and achieve Allah's grace.

For you, I promise to always be by your side throughout every trial, bad day, and hardship that may come our way. I promise to always see the good in you, reminding you who you are in case you ever start to lose sight of that. I promise to always pray for us and our family. I promise to always care about your every concern and need and take everything you say into consideration.

I look forward to making you breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day, doing your laundry, cleaning our home, and always making sure you can find your wallet, keys, and probably a list of many things I'll hear you yell from the other room asking "Do you know where my --- is?" then I'll answer, "Yes, I do. I know everything about you." I'd smile and run away from you at the same time. Sounds like a fairy tale, doesn't it? 

"There’s nothing more beautiful than a knowledgeable person who teaches you about the deen, improves your iman, and makes you fall in love with Allah. Such a person is a gem. If you ever find one, don’t lose them."

I pray wherever you are, you are happy and your heart is at peace I pray you’re always close to Allah and never out of Allah's protection. I promise I will never stop praying for you because you pray for those who you love.  

My hope for us is that our love will grow stronger as time goes on, that we will never stop having slow dances in the kitchen, always continue to laugh, and never stop holding each other. I hope that we are those old people in rocking chairs while our crazy grandkids run around laughing, singing, and full of joy, because being in our home and around our love becomes so contagious and overwhelming to others. And above all, I hope we never stop putting God first. I love you and will always love you.

I keep my heart for you.

I keep my love for you.

I keep my life for you.

I keep my dunya for you.

I keep my akhirah for you.

I keep my everything for you.

"Ya Allah, if I fall in love, let me touch the heart of someone whose heart is attached to You."

With love,

Your future wife.